


How to be a Real Criminal

by Nameless_Toast_Machine



Category: LazyTown
Genre: Crossover, Gay, M/M, Memes, My First Fanfic, Quick paced, Romance, Shipping, Short Chapters, alternates, long fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-13
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-17 05:22:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 13,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9307139
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nameless_Toast_Machine/pseuds/Nameless_Toast_Machine
Summary: -Robbie Rotten decides to get some help from another version of him in a difforent reality. Things do not go as planned.-No mature content until later. It isn't really the focus. Also the elves are dominant if I messed up how to type their relationships.-Don't let your kids read it!





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I am sort of embarassed that my first fic on this site is Lazytown.... I was going to post a Batman (Poison Ivy x Harley Quinn) fic first but I got stuck. Anyway, I hope that my writing is okay and someone enjoys it. It is written sort of like an episode of Lazytown I guess. That's what I originally intended anyway. I will continue either way but the speed may depend on if anybody reads it.

           Robbie Rotten had a headache. He sighed as he sat in his fluffy orange chair. It was those noises again. The children of Lazytown were so disgustingly loud and healthy. It was all Sportaflop’s fault. It felt like Robbie had tried everything to get that annoying health freak out of their once peaceful town.  He was actually starting to run out of ideas. He tried to recall his most successful attempts at catching the blue elf.

            One of the attempts that came to mind was when he hired three other villains. “It would have probably worked if they weren’t all so incompetent...” he muttered to himself as he remembered. “If only one of those three idiots that I hired had been half as smart as I am, I bet that Sportakook wouldn’t even be in Lazytown anymore…”

            Robbie shifted in his chair repositioning himself multiple times until he had another thought. He could get another version of him to help. He could make a machine to grab an alternate from another reality. They could come up with a brilliant plan together and get rid of Sportaflop once and for all. The villain grinned evilly to himself but then frowned as he realized something. He had finally found a comfortable sitting position but now he had to get up.

-

            Sportacus was playing a fun game of soccer with the children when his crystal went off. Everyone stopped playing and looked at him in alarm. “Your crystal!” Stephanie exclaimed.  “Someone must be in trouble!”

            “But who could it be?” Sportacus wondered. “Well, it isn’t me.” Ziggy said after checking himself.  “It isn’t me either!” Trixie announced. “Everyone here seems fine,” Pixel said, “It must be Miss Busybody or the Mayor.”

            “Alright, I will go over to check on them. You kids can keep playing.” The superhero struck a pose before flip flopping away to save whoever was in trouble.

            Sportacus was confused. The two adults seemed to be fine when he got there. Miss Busybody was relaxing on her outdoor chair in front of her house, while the Mayor ran around doing errands for her. Sportacus checked all over the rest of town. Everything was so peaceful. He thought for a second. This could only mean one thing. “Robbie!” Sportacus shouted and flip flopped towards the entrance of the villain’s lair. He lived underground so Sportacus didn’t usually check on him. He hoped that he was still okay. He hopped into Robbie’s lair, not even using the latter.

            Robbie flinched when the superhero’s feet landed right next to his face. He couldn’t scream though. He was tied up on the floor of his lair with his mouth taped shut. When the elf picked him up and began to untie him, he couldn’t help but feel relieved. It hurt when he ripped the tape off of his mouth though.

             “Ow!” Robbie complained.

            “Whoops Sorry.” Sportacus frowned and crumbled up the tape, throwing it into a waste basket. “What happened to you, Robbie?” the blue elf asked, his expression filled with concern as he faced Robbie again. “Are you alright? Who did this?”

            The villain did his best not to feel touched by the hero’s big heart. Sportaflop always worried about him, even after he tried to kick him out of town dozens of times. Robbie told himself that it was a trick though. He pushed himself away from the other man. “I’m fine…” Robbie said, “As for the person who did this to me… It was me.”

            Sportacus looked understandably confused so Robbie sighed and began to explain his evil plan to his enemy. “I was running out of ideas. I asked him to help me but he decided to try to rob me instead.” he complained.  “He figured that I must have other good stuff if I had made a machine that could take him to another world. I don’t know where he went after robbing me. He just left a few minutes ago before you came in.”

            “Well, I didn’t see him when I came in.” Sportacus frowned.

            “He is very sneaky and careful like me.” Robbie said. “That’s why I got him. Plus, you were probably flippity-flopping everywhere and missed him”

            “We have to find him then.” Sportacus said, “I’m going to need your help.”

            Robbie snorted. “Help? Why would I help you?”

            “Please, Robbie? I don’t know how to put him back.” Sportacus looked at the villain, his blue eyes looking hopeful and expectant.

            Robbie nearly choked and then cleared his throat. “Uhg, Fine.” he grumbled, “Whatever. I just want my stuff back.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -Thank you for any feedback on the last chapter. It inspired me to hurry up and make this one.  
> -After this chapter the more dark alternates will start to make an impact on this story so it won't just be a kids' show story anymore (It's still probably not going to be as dark as some of the stuff on here.).  
> -It will still sort of keep its style and the terrible kids show jokes I make will remain.

            Sportacus and Robbie looked around town together. Robbie felt sort of ridiculous walking next to someone who kept doing flips and stunts every step of the way. “Do you ever stop to take a break?” the taller man huffed. “I do when I am in bed at night but that’s pretty much it.” Sportacus admitted with a chuckle. Robbie rolled his eyes and snorted. “You are so obnoxious.”  

            Sportacus suddenly stopped.

            “What?” Robbie asked. He was a bit concerned.  That didn’t actually hurt Sportaflop’s feelings, did it? Nothing ever seemed to offend him before. “Um…” He was about to apologize but then he saw what the elf was looking at and realized what the actual problem was.

            The children were not playing soccer anymore. They were sitting around eating giant lollipops. Stephanie was holding one too but she was staring at hers suspiciously and not actually eating it. Sportacus went up to them.

            “Hey kids!” he greeted. “Sportacus!” they cheered and gathered around him. Robbie just crossed his arms as the conversation went on.  “Where did you get that candy?”

            “We got it from a man who was selling it at a stand. It was really cheap.” Trixie smiled. “It’s tasty too!”

            “That’s nice.” Sportacus said, “But did you get your parents’ permission?”

            “No….” they all said, hanging their heads a bit. “B-But the candy salesperson also said that this candy is special!” Ziggy said quickly. “He said that it would make us really good at soccer!” Sportacus shook his head. “I’ve never heard of any candy like that. Too much candy will only make you lazy.”

            “I knew there was something fishy....” Stephanie huffed, tossing her candy away. A few of the other children joined her.

            Ziggy was reluctant to give up his delicious candy and Stingy was being stingy. “You still can’t take mine away from me.” the spoiled kid said, shaking his head. “It’s mine.”

            Robbie couldn’t take it anymore. He butted into the conversation. He had a feeling that he knew who this candy salesperson really was. “Excuse me, brats… I mean, children. But where was this candy salesperson at exactly?”

            “Oh, Hi Robbie.” Stephanie said. “We got them over there.” She pointed to the left. “But I wouldn’t buy any if I were you. The guy selling it seemed suspicious.”

            “I don’t plan to. Come on, Sportaflop. We are checking that direction.” Robbie said and grabbed Sportacus’ arm. When he felt how despicably muscular the hero’s arm was, he quickly moved his arm down to grab his wrist instead. He tried to move the elf but Sportacus would not budge until he started walking at his own will. “Okay, okay. I’m coming.” Sportacus said and waved to the children before following Robbie to find the candy salesperson.

-

            Robbie immediately recognized that man as the one who robbed him. He looked just like himself after all. His other prediction was correct too. The candy was made with one of Robbie's contraptions. Robbie did not appreciate how his double was overworking his poor little machine and he didn't appreciate that he was wearing one of his disguises either.  "Hey you!" Robbie yelled and stomped up to the other him but Sportacus put a hand on his shoulder as if to tell him to calm down.

            "I'm sorry about that." Sportacus said, "He's been having a bad day." Robbie was confused and angry but then he realized that Sportacus must not have recognized this man as Robbie's alternate since he was in disguise as a harmless salesman. He was so trusting and gullible. "Have you seen a suspicious looking man running around?" the sports elf asked the thief. Robbie's alternate hesitated and then nodded, pointing in a random direction. "I think I saw somebody running that way a few minutes ago."

            Robbie couldn't believe that Sportadumb could be fooled by that sly smile. What did a suspicious person even look like to this overly friendly elf? He seemed to trust everyone until they did something bad in front of him.

            "Oh, Okay. Thank you!" Sportacus smiled to Robbie's alternate obliviously. Before he could start doing flips in that direction, Robbie grabbed the back of his vest. "No no no! What are you doing?! That's him!" Robbie shouted.  Sportacus furrowed his brows and turned to look at the salesman but he was already running away.  

           "Get him!" Robbie yelled and Sportacus followed the thief, flipping in the air, jumping off a wall and landing in front of him. The thief stopped before Sportacus could grab him. He then quickly turned around and ran towards Robbie, who was trying to catch up to them. Robbie was in horrible shape so he was out of breath. He let out a gasp when he felt an arm wrap around his neck. He then heard a click. Sportacus stopped in front of them, looking shocked. Robbie froze when he realized the situation he was in.

-

            His alternate was holding a gun against his head.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -I am enjoying writing this very much.  
> -Thank you guys for reading and being nice!

            Sportacus was stunned. Nothing like this had ever happened in Lazytown before. He'd never even seen a gun in real life up to this point. The only troublemaker in this peaceful town was Robbie and Robbie didn't do anything horrible like this. For the first time in his life, Sportacus didn't know what to do. He wanted to save Robbie but he was worried that Robbie would get shot if he made the wrong move.

            "Don't come any closer, Íþróttaálfurinn." The man with the gun warned. "Otherwise I'm going to shoot this world's version of me. Don't even say that you don't care. You could have gotten rid of me tons of times back in my world but you never did. Your stupid little hero's code makes it so you have to protect everyone from danger." He chuckled humorlessly, "Either that or you just like me too much to get rid of me for good."

            "What are you talking about?" Sportacus asked, finally forcing himself to speak. He was very confused. "I'm sorry but I don't know what you mean."

            "Your world is a lot different than ours. I didn't realize it before you came here." Robbie said to his double. He looked straight forward at Sportacus as he spoke. He did not want to turn his head to face the gun or make the other him suspect that he was trying anything sneaky. "Sportaflop would never want anyone to die. He would never say that. He's too soft."

            "Sportaflop? Is that Íþróttaálfurinn's name here? It sounds stupid."

            "It's Sportacus." the blue elf said. "Please let go of my friend, other Robbie."

            "My name is Glanni Glæpur, elf." the man snapped, "...Wait, your friend? What do you mean by friend? " The armed crook was in disbelief. "Me and Íþróttaálfurinn are friends in this world?!"

            Robbie was a bit surprised that Sportacus said that he was his friend too. He didn't say anything to deny it though. Sportacus looked very serious and for a moment Robbie felt something other than terror.

            "Unbelievable!" Glanni pressed the gun against Robbie's head, causing Robbie to snap back into fear. "You are not me! I would never befriend Íþróttaálfurinn! I hate him!" he hissed, sounding very upset. Robbie and Sportacus thought that Glanni might do something crazy. The criminal quickly recomposed himself though. He looked up, smiled and laughed. "Actually, this may be beneficial to me, now that I think of it. Okay, Sportacus. If Robbie and you are such good friends, why don't you take his place? You can come over here slowly. Don't do any flips or try anything."

            Robbie watched as Sportacus slowly came up next to Glanni. Robbie never saw him walk like that. Was he actually going to take Glanni's offer? Robbie was panicking internally, not knowing what to do. Suddenly, he was pushed to the floor.  He looked up and Glanni was standing behind Sportacus now. The hero was standing still, Glanni's gun pressed against his head. "Sportaflop!" Robbie reached forward to grab his alternate's leg, only to have his hand stepped on roughly. He yelped in pain and pulled it back. Glanni laughed again. "Alright then, Mr. Superhero." he said to Sportacus, "You are coming with me."

            Robbie felt his back being stepped on as he still held his hand in pain.  He felt tears form at the corners of his eyes. The terrified villain just lay there for a while, balled up on the floor. By the time that he pushed himself up, Sportacus and his double were already gone. Why was he such a useless failure? He wiped his eyes. He had to do something. Although he would probably never say it out loud, he knew that he couldn't actually let anything bad happen to Sportacus because of him.

-

            Robbie wrapped up his hand in a bandage. He worked with what supplies he had left to make another machine that connected to Glanni's world. He was not sure if this would work but it was the only hope that Robbie had so far. Once completed, the machine looked like a flat purple box with a screen on it. Robbie adjusted some dials until he found what he was looking for.

       Robbie found an elf that was wearing yellow with brown boots and a brown chestplate. He was giving fruit to children and looked a lot like Sportacus. Robbie was careful to make sure that he only got Sportacus’ alternate in the frame and not the children. He then pressed the button on his machine and zapped the elf into his world.

            Sportacus’ alternate looked confused for a second but when he saw Robbie his face turned meaner. Robbie did his best to push him away as he was tackled. "No! Let go! Listen to me, please!" He cried as the stronger man pinned him down against the floor.

            "What are you doing back in Latibær, Glæpur?” the yellow elf growled, “I didn't think you were stupid enough to show your filthy mug here. Your disguise isn't very good this time, either."

            "I'm not Glanni!" Robbie tried to get away but it was no use. He had to keep talking and convince him. "Listen to me. My name is Robbie Rotten and I am another version of the person you are referring to.... but I'm not going to cause any trouble! You are Íþróttaálfurinn, right? I had to bring you here because I messed up and got my world's version of you into a lot of trouble."

            Íþróttaálfurinn looked down at Robbie. "Hmm..." He folded his arms and sat upright but still remained sitting on the taller man's body. "I must admit that this is an odd situation. It is one of your more interesting stories too. Fine, I will humor you, 'Robbie'. Tell me what happened and I will see if I can help you." Robbie let out a small sigh of relief. He began to tell Íþróttaálfurinn what happened.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -The alternates some major problems.  
> -I didn't know what would happen when I wrote this. I hope it's okay.  
> -This isn't the end if I made it seem like it. I still have at least a few more chapters.

            Sportacus lay on the filthy ground in an alley while Glanni kicked his chest and stomach. His abs and pecs were strong but it began to seriously hurt after a while. He could not fight back though. It was too dangerous since Glanni still had the gun in his hand.

            "This is for the time that your broke both of my arms and this is for the time that you forced me to beg for forgiveness!!" Glanni growled as he continued to hurt Sportacus. He was imagining that Sportacus was Íþróttaálfurinn. They looked exactly alike after all. The only problem was that Sportacus wasn't acting like Íþróttaálfurinn.

            "Glanni, I'm sorry for everything that he did to you. I hate to hear that any version of me would hurt anyone like that." Sportacus told the violent man once Glanni had taken a break from kicking him to lick a lollipop.

            Hearing the apology only irritated Glanni. He crunched the candy in between his teeth violently and swallowed the shards. "Didn't I tell you to shut your damn mouth?!" he yelled in the poor hero's face, bending down and grabbing his shirt. Sportacus was ruining everything to Glanni by being sympathetic. "Sorry." Sportacus said. His ears rang. "You're so fucking pathetic, apologizing to a criminal...." Glanni hissed. "You're not tough at all. You are scared of me, aren't you?"

            "I was scared that you might shoot Robbie." Sportacus admitted. "I'm not scared right now though. Even if what you're doing to me hurts pretty badly, everyone else is safe."

            Glanni frowned. "That's the dumbest thing I've ever heard."

            Sportacus was too perfect. He was nice to bad guys and even felt bad for them. He didn't even worry about his own safety when it came to rescuing others. Glanni  was actually beginning to feel guilty about hurting him. It was disgusting. He pushed the feeling aside though. If they were the same person then Sportacus’ violent side had to be hidden inside of there. Besides, this opportunity was too good to pass up. He would beat up Íþróttaálfurinn (even if it was actually his alternate) and dominate him. He would make him beg and cry. It was a sight that he'd always wanted to see.

            Glanni pulled Sportacus into a sudden rough kiss. Sportacus gasped and tried to move his head away but Glanni held onto him tightly and kept kissing him. Sportacus was confused. Why was Glanni doing this? Did Glanni actually have feelings for Íþróttaálfurinn? Why was he being so rough? Did this mean that it was possible that Robbie secretly wanted to kiss Sportacus too?

            Sportacus didn't even realize how he was kissing back as dozens of thoughts clouded his mind. His head felt dizzy but he wasn't sure if that was from the sugar that Glanni had recently consumed or from the knowlege that Robbie’s alternate was kissing him.    

            "You're kissing all wrong." Glanni pulled back and told Sportacus after a while. It was too gentle and loving. He’d have preferred him doing nothing if he was going to kiss like that. "This is no good... We will have to move on to something else." he wiped some of the lipstick that had transferred to Sportacus’s face and was about to reach for Sportacus' pants when he heard a familiar voice calling him.

            "Glæpur!!" It boomed. Glanni's blood ran cold. He knew exactly who it was: Íþróttaálfurinn. He hurried to point his gun at the yellow elf running towards him but the elf did a flip and knocked it out of his hand. Íþróttaálfurinn then spun Glanni around and grabbed him by his neck violently. Glanni flailed for a while until he got short of air.

            Sportacus looked confused about what had happened until he saw Robbie walk up to him. "Robbie!" Sportacus beamed, "You saved me!"

            "I did not." Robbie corrected. "Íþróttaálfurinn did. And I only called him because you saved me first. Don't get the wrong idea, Sportaflop."

             Sportacus was about to respond to Robbie when he saw Íþróttaálfurinn hit Glanni's head against the wall. Glanni let out a groan and Sportacus went over to his alternate to stop him. "Don't hurt him!" the blue elf said. "He isn't even fighting back anymore!"

             Íþróttaálfurinn looked at Sportacus like he was crazy. "He beat you up and you're worried about him?"

            "Yes." Sportacus said. "You could have seriously hurt him doing that. I don't like the way you kicked the gun out of his hand either. What would have happened if you messed up or if you weren't fast enough? It could have hurt somebody."

            "I don't mess up." Íþróttaálfurinn snapped. "Besides, that gun is only for show. Glanni is a crook, not a murderer. I don't think he has the balls to end someone's life. Isn't that right, Glæpur? Your finger wasn't even on the trigger."

            "Screw you, elf." Glanni wheezed. "I wouldn't hesitate to shoot you and that cocky smile of yours if I had the chance." Íþróttaálfurinn's fingers tightened around Glanni's throat and he made some chocking noises. "Stop it!" Sportacus told his alternate. "You're hurting him!"

            "He deserved it." Íþróttaálfurinn said, rolling his eyes at his alternate. "I'm going to lock him up for good this time. Robbie, would you please take us back to our world now?"

            Robbie hid behind Sportacus a little. "You guys are leaving so soon. Are you sure you don't want to stay for a while?" he asked awkwardly.

            Íþróttaálfurinn shook his head. "I have my own town to protect and I need to put this criminal in jail where he belongs. Why would you even want us to stay anyway? Are you hiding something?" Everyone looked at Robbie as he hid behind Spartacus some more.

            "Actually, I actually I can't send you home yet. The machine that I used to get you here can only teleport organic matter to this world. I don't even have half of the right parts to make a machine to send you back. I’ll order them and make another machine, but you are going to be stuck here for a while… It could take up to four days." Robbie said nervously.

             Sportacus had to stop Íþróttaálfurinn from getting to Robbie and strangling him.

            It was going to be a long next couple of days for everyone.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> -The chapter where most of the characters make bad decisions.  
> -Speaking of which, I hope I didn't make any errors. I'm very tired. Feel free to point anything out if something doesn't make any sense but for now I'm going to go take a nap.  
> 

            Robbie spent the rest of that day working on the machine that could get the alternates home. The villain did not like doing so much work, especially for the good guys. He felt ridiculous about what happened yesterday. What was he was thinking, calling a superhero for help? To make things worse, both of the heroes were counting on him now. They should want to lock him up like they did with Glanni. This was pathetic.

            Robbie figured that he might as well get over with making this machine and try to forget about everything that happened right afterwards. He would have stayed indoors the next day too if he hadn't run out of cake. He had to replenish his supply, of course. How would he work without cake?

            On the way back, Robbie spotted Sportacus and Íþróttaálfurinn. He quickly hid behind a bush. Walking up to them and saying hello to them did not even cross his mind. He was too awkward to ever do that and he wasn’t going to be friendly to heroes for no reason. Still, he was curious. Despite having some major disagreements about how to treat bad guys, the two heroes seemed to be getting along pretty well now.

            "This place is actually pretty nice." Íþróttaálfurinn told Sportacus. "The people are kind and the children are friendly. Is it always this peaceful or is it like this because Robbie is busy?"

            "There can be a little trouble here and there." Sportacus answered, "Robbie doesn't like it when the kids and I play games and he does not like it when we eat sportscandy. He's tried to stop us a bunch of times and sometimes he even tries to make me leave town."

            "Does he ever hurt anybody though?"

            Sportacus shook his head, "No. He doesn't do that."

            "Does he steal anything?"

            "Not usually."

            "So I'm guessing that Robbie really isn't an actual threat, is he?" Íþróttaálfurinn asked Sportacus.

            The blue hero laughed a little and shook his head. "No. Not really."

            Robbie felt himself stagger back. He felt hurt. He felt angry. He was supposed to be Sportacus's worst enemy but the way the heroes spoke, they made it seem like he was nothing but a little pest. Robbie trembled and then threw the cake against the floor violently. He began to run all of the way back to his lair.

            The elves went over to investigate the sound after hearing the plate shattering. Robbie was already out of sight though. Sportacus frowned. He had a bad feeling when he saw the cake on the floor.

-

            Glanni pressed his face up against the bars of his prison and groaned. "My back hurts." he said, whining to the heroes who were having a conversation next to him. This was not his first time complaining. He was locked in a small blue cage that he could not even stand up in. The elves had borrowed it from Robbie who had used the cage in his attempts to trap Sportacus in the past. Íþróttaálfurinn wanted to lock Glanni up in an actual jail but the cage was the closest thing that they had in Lazytown.

            The yellow elf was used to ignoring Glanni's complaints but the blue one seemed to feel sorry for him each time he whined. "Maybe we should let him out for just a minute to let him stretch his muscles..." Sportacus suggested to his alternate. Íþróttaálfurinn shook his head. "Absolutely not. He is trying to trick you, Sportacus. I agree to join you and the kids for one quick game of baseball and when I return to guard Glanni, he is working to pick the lock. He can't be trusted. As soon as you unlock the cage he is going to make a run for it."

            "That isn't true." Glanni said. "My back hurts too much."

            "Shut up, you." Íþróttaálfurinn told him and kicked the cage.

            Glanni flinched but it was mainly just to earn more sympathy from Sportacus. Besides his looks, Glanni found the blue elf pathetic and boring. But on the other hand, he also just might be his ticket out of here. "Of course I tried to run away from that asshole." Glanni told Sportacus, "Íþróttaálfurinn watches me constantly and if I do anything wrong, that gives him an excuse to hit me. Could you watch me for a while instead? Then maybe Íþróttaálfurinn could take his stress out in another way for a while. He could go jogging ...or maybe go jerk off or something."

            "There is no way I am leaving you here with him." Íþróttaálfurinn said, glaring at the man in the cage. He knew that Glanni would try to persuade Sportacus to let him out of the cage again if he left. A break sounded good but he couldn't afford to take one again.

            Just as Íþróttaálfurinn was thinking this, somebody came walking towards them. It was Robbie. "I could watch Glanni for a while." He suggested to the heroes. It had been about an hour and a half since eavesdropping in on the heroes' conversation and Robbie had calmed himself down sense then.

            Sportacus smiled at Robbie and Íþróttaálfurinn gave him a suspicious look. "What are you doing listening in on us? I thought that you were supposed to be working on the machine."

            "I didn't mean to listen. I was just walking by. I finished what I could do on the machine before the other parts arrive so I'm free."

            Íþróttaálfurinn was thoughtful. He did want to play sports with the children of Lazytown again. "Should I trust him?" he asked Sportacus. "I mean, I don't see why he would want to help Glanni out. He called me to stop him in the first place."

            'Don't remind me.' Robbie thought, but kept silent as the heroes talked about it. He didn’t actually plan on letting Glanni free but he wanted to talk to him in private.

            After a while the heroes came to a conclusion. "Alright Robbie," said Íþróttaálfurinn, "I will trust you to watch Glanni for us, but if you let him go you are going to be in big trouble."

            "You're welcome for this." Robbie said sarcastically as Íþróttaálfurinn dropped a key in his hand. He ignored it when Sportacus tried to wave goodbye to him.

-

            "Well, this is a surprise." Glanni said once the elves were out of sight. "What made you do that, Robbie? I heard that you are really lazy. Why would you want to watch me instead of taking a nap?"

            Robbie sucked in some air. "How do you do it?" he asked.

            "....How do I do what?"

            "How do you get so much attention from your superhero? He's been watching you almost constantly."

             "I know. It's so annoying." Glanni said and shrugged. "He's just worried that I'm going to cause trouble, which I will. Why do you care?"

            Robbie told Glanni what Íþróttaálfurinn and Sportacus had said about him earlier that day. Glanni laughed. "Well it sounds like they are right. You sound like more of a grumpy neighbor than a villain to me."

            Robbie frowned and crossed his arms. "Well, what do I do to fix this?!"

            Glanni thought for a second before smiling. "I could teach you," he offered, "but only if you get me out of here."

            Robbie narrowed his eyes. "I don't think I trust you. You pointed a gun at me and Sportakook."

            "Íþróttaálfurinn took my gun." Glanni said. "I don't have it anymore."

            "Then you'll run away when I open the cage."

            "I won't. It will be easier to hide from Íþróttaálfurinn with you for multiple reasons."

            "You're probably lying." Robbie accused, “I don’t think so.”

            “I promise?” Glanni tried, but Robbie gave him an untrusting look.

             "Uhg. Fine, don't help me then.... Just know that Sportacus will never consider you his villain with the way you are now."

            The desperate villain hesitated before slowly moving to unlock the cage. Glanni grinned as he was helped out. He hadn't been sure if his alternate would listen to him. He happily wrapped an arm around Robbie’s shoulder once released. "Alright, Robbie Rotten. A deal's a deal. I'm going to teach you how to be a real criminal."

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Robbie's lessons begin and the heroes find the cage empty.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> -So sorry for the lateness.  
> -Are people still reading this?

            Glanni seemed to be sticking to his word about not running away. It was because he had been actually telling the truth when he said that he thought it would be easier to hide from Íþróttaálfurinn if he stuck with Robbie. He had nowhere else to hide in Lazytown with the heroes on the loose.

            Robbie's lair would be a good place to relax, at least until the elves went to go search for them. Robbie also had disguises that they could use. Once they had to leave the lair, they could hide and blend in as different people. It was perfect. Well, almost perfect.

            "Hey Glanni." Robbie said to the man lying on his fluffy orange chair. "When are you going to start teaching me how to be a bigger threat to Sportaflop?"

            Robbie had been waiting for a few minutes since Glanni said that he wanted to rest before doing any teaching. Robbie was done waiting though. He looked at Glanni expectantly.

            Glanni huffed and sat up a little. He knew that if he wanted to stay here he would have to appease Robbie. "Okay, okay. The first lesson is... " Glanni thought for a few seconds. He hadn't actually thought of what he was going to do with his alternate. Robbie needed lots of help, which was for sure. 

            "First of all, you definitely need to change your motive."

            "My motive?" Robbie blinked. "What do you mean?"

            "You said that you wanted to make Lazytown lazy, didn't you? That's a stupid motive for a criminal and I'm pretty sure that it's dumb for a villain too. What are you, the bad guy of a children's TV program? Is what you do even illegal?"

            Robbie thought for a while and then said, "Sometimes."

            Glanni rolled his eyes. "Have you even stolen anything?"

            "Yes." Robbie folded his arms, getting a bit defensive. "I've stolen Sportaflop's crystal a couple of times and I've also taken cake that wasn't made for me," 

            "Is that it?" 

            "I don't remember. There may have been more."

            "Hmm. How much is the crystal worth?" That actually sounded like something impressive. Maybe he could steal it for himself later. Maybe they could even steal it together. He liked the idea of getting some work done while teaching his alternate. Hopefully Robbie wouldn't get in the way too much. 

            "It isn't a normal crystal. It's an alarm for danger.” Robbie said though, “I didn't steal it to sell it. I just took it because I didn't want Sportakook coming to anyone's rescue. That way he might get kicked out of town for not doing his job."

            Oh. That was a disappointing. Glanni wondered what the most valuable things in this little town were. "Maybe you should try stealing more things. Is there anything you want besides sleep?"

"I want cake." Robbie said. "I destroyed the one that I bought earlier since I was upset."

"Right..." Glanni rubbed his temples. "...Maybe should try taking something more valuable than cake."

            "What could be more valuable than cake?" Robbie asked.

            "Money, jewels, and expensive furniture are worth way more." Glanni told him, "Things that are worth money are what you should be targeting. Think about it. With money, you can buy all of the cake that you can eat in the world."

            Robbie looked unsure. He didn't feel like he needed any more money. He wasn't poor. He didn't struggle to live or deal with gangs like Glanni. He had everything he needed in his lair, including hundreds of gadgets and disguises. He already ate cake everyday too. It just seemed like a lot of work and risk of getting caught for nothing.

           Glanni saw the look on his face and told him, "You can never have enough money, you know? ...Besides, you want to get your superhero to take you more seriously, don't you?"

            When Glanni mentioned Sportacus, Robbie nodded his head in agreement. He would show Sportaflop that he could be bad. "Okay. I'll try it." he said and Glanni grinned. "Good. Let's get ready soon. We don't want the heroes coming for us before we even start. By the way, do you know how rich the mayor is?" 

-

            Sportacus and Íþróttaálfurinn waved goodbye to the children. "That was a good game of basketball." Íþróttaálfurinn said. He was in a lot better of a mood now. Unfortunately, it wouldn't last for long. When the heroes returned to where the cage was, it was empty and no one was around. 

            "Dammit!" Íþróttaálfurinn said. "I knew it. We shouldn't have trusted him! He is another version of Glanni! What was I thinking?"

            Sportacus frowned. "Maybe something happened and they both had to leave."

            "Are you kidding me? I listened to you because you said that you trusted him and he obviously should not have been trusted!"

            Sportacus sighed. "I just really didn't think he would do that. I still can't believe it." 

            Íþróttaálfurinn shook his head. "We just have to find them now. That will confirm what happened. I just hope that nobody is in trouble."

            "Oh. Don't worry about that. My crystal will tell us if anything bad happens." Sportacus pointed at where the crystal was. "Everyone seems to be fine." Just when he finnished speaking, the crystal began to beep. 

            "What about now?" Íþróttaálfurinn raised a brow.

Sportacus put his hand against his crystal and bit his lip. "Oh no… Robbie, what are you doing?" 

-

            It was Milford Meanswell who had set off the alarm. His house was broken into and robbed while he was out mowing Miss Busybody's lawn. The mayor looked at the heroes in panic as they tried to calm him down. "Nothing like this has ever happened in Lazytown before! Half of my furniture is gone!" he exclaimed.

            "We will get it back." Íþróttaálfurinn assured Mayor Meanswell. "We know who did this."

            "Oh, thank goodness. I knew I can count on Sportacus, but you seem very reliable too, Mr..Double." 

            "You can call me Íþróttaálfurinn." The orange elf said with a bow and then turned to Sportacus, nudging him. He seemed very out of it. "Sportacus, I'm going to need you to show me where Robbie's lair is. We need to check there first."

            "Oh. Right." Sportacus said, blinking his eyes.

            "You think that Robbie Rotten is behind this?" Mayor Meanswell asked.

            "We aren't sure about that yet." Sportacus said defensively. 

            Íþróttaálfurinn was slightly annoyed to hear this. "We know that my version of Robbie was involved for sure. Come on Sportacus, let's go." 

            Sportacus nodded and the two heroes quickly left the Mayor's house, doing flips towards Robbie's lair.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The heroes attempt to enter Robbie's lair.  
> Robbie has a internal struggle and Glanni is just himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Tell me if you have any advise or criticisms.  
> Jeez, I'm so paranoid if people will like what I post. I can't delay it anymore though.

            When Sportacus and Íþróttaálfurinn got to the lair, Sportacus insisted that they knock first. Íþróttaálfurinn thought that he was being ridiculous but decided that it he would allow it. There was no reply, of course. The entrance was locked tightly. Both elves tried forcing it open after that, but it did not seem to be budging either. "Dammit!" cursed Íþróttaálfurinn. "What is this entrance made out of?"

            "It's not usually this hard to open." Sportacus said thoughtfully. "Robbie could have done something to it. He has made some pretty tough things before, but I’m sure it's nothing a little sports candy can't fix."

-

            As if on cue, two suspiciously familiar looking farmers came out of nowhere and began yelling, "Sports candy! Get your free sports candy!"

            Sportacus smiled and turned to Íþróttaálfurinn. "Wow! We are really lucky, huh? I don't even have to press my chest button."

            "Free apples?" Íþróttaálfurinn looked at the two men curiously. "You are just giving them away?"

            "That's right." smiled one of the farmers. "It's a special occasion. We've collected a lot of apples this year."

            "Too much for just us to finish." the other farmer added. "What better way to get rid of them than to share them with the lovely folks of Lazytown?"

            The farmers tossed an apple to each of the heroes and they both caught it.

            "Thank you so much!" Sportacus smiled.

            “Yeah, thanks.” said Íþróttaálfurinn.

            Both elves took a bite. It only took a couple of seconds for them to start to feel weak. Íþróttaálfurinn passed out and fell to the floor, and Sportacus collapsed next to him. The two farmers took their wigs and hats off and revealed themselves to actually be Robbie and Glanni in disguise.

            "Wow." said Glanni. "I can't believe that it actually worked. Who knew that a little sugar could do this to Íþróttaálfurinn? I doubted your plan would work, but I've actually learned something big from you."

            Robbie nodded and grinned. "It does the trick with Sportaflop every time. I figured yours would be the same since he's just another version of him. They should be biologically similar, if not identical."

            "I'm definitely going to remember to use this to use it in the future." Glanni smirked and he crouched down to get a better look at Íþróttaálfurinn. He pinched Íþróttaálfurinn's nose, and laughed as the unconscious hero squirmed and gasped for air.

            Robbie gave Glanni an annoyed look. "Stop messing around. We need put them away before anybody sees us."

            By how reluctantly Glanni moved, Robbie had a feeling that his new teacher would have had some more fun with Íþróttaálfurinn if he wasn't there.

            Robbie pulled out some rope and the two criminals began to tie the elves up. They started with Íþróttaálfurinn. They made sure that the ropes were strong and tight, and then covered his mouth with cloth so that he couldn't speak when he woke up.

            It was Sportacus' turn next. They wrapped him up in rope, but he opened his eyes just as Robbie was about to cover his mouth. "Robbie..." Sportacus groaned when he saw his villain. His vision was blurred. "Why are you doing this? ....I thought that you already figured out how dangerous he was."

            Robbie was surprised that Sportacus was still conscious. He sputtered before giving an actual response. "Hey! I can be just as bad as him! It's your fault for not taking me seriously!"

            Sportacus remembered the broken cake and connected the dots. The hero could be gullible, but he was not dense. "Robbie...” sighed the blue hero, “It's not that I don't take you seriously. I just don't consider you an enemy. I wish that I could get along with you. Is that not an option?"

            Sportaflop still wanted to get along with him after all of this? Robbie didn't even know if he could get along with anyone. He didn't want anyone to expect anything from him. It was so much pressure. He didn't know how to act around people. Besides, what if he made friends with someone and they didn't want to spend time with him anymore? He didn't want his feelings to get hurt like that.

            Still, Robbie knew that he could get very lonely alone in his lair. One of the reasons that the children's laughter frustrated so much was because he envied them. He never had that in his childhood and he didn't have that now either. The best things that he had were cake and sleep.

            Maybe he could just try getting along with Sportacus. The blue elf still wanted to get along after all of the times that he tried to make him leave Lazytown and all of the times that he caused him to go into a sugar meltdown. Maybe the hero would continue to be patient with him. Robbie looked at Sportacus for a while and the hero blinked back at him, smiling at Robbie as he still fought his own drowsiness.

            Glanni could tell that Robbie was beginning to have second thoughts. He could not let this happen. He didn't want to be locked up again. He quickly grabbed the cloth from Robbie's hand and put it around Sportacus' mouth. "That's enough talking for you, Sportafuck. Just stop fighting it and pass out already." He shoved Sportacus back on the ground and pulled Robbie up.

            "Come on, we need to put these guys inside before we get found out. You said it yourself." He began to attempt to drag Íþróttaálfurinn into the entrance of the lair. "Don't be tricked by your hero.” Glanni grunted, “He is clearly saying these things because he is helpless right now. He still thinks you're not a threat. He thinks that he can persuade you to let him go. You need to be stronger."

            Robbie slowly nodded at Glanni's words. He had a point. Why would someone like Sportacus want to be his friend so much? It didn't make any sense. He unlocked the entrance with a remote in his pocket and helped Glanni get the bound up heroes inside. It was especially hard to carry Sportacus in. Robbie had a strange feeling in the pit of his stomach, and it wasn't going away.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Glanni and Robbie are an official team? How long will this last?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the lateness. I have so much homework. Enjoy and feel free to correct me on typos.

The two unconscious heroes were placed next to each other. They were sitting on the cold floor of Robbie’s lair, leaned up against a wall. Glanni made sure that they were still tied up properly. He looked over the two elves with a sense of pride and accomplishment. This was the first time that he really had the upper hand against Íþróttaálfurinn. He couldn’t wait until the heroes woke up. 

Not everyone was this happy though. There was a sigh in the room and Glanni looked over at Robbie. Glanni was not pleased to learn that his alternate was still acting upset. “Hey, you should be happy about this.” Glanni said as he stood and walked up to Robbie. He sat on one of the arms of the fuzzy chair. “I’m sure that Sportacus knows that he should take you more seriously from now on.”

"I am happy about that." Robbie said, but he was clearly still upset about something. 

“What’s wrong with you?” Glanni huffed. “It’s what Sportacus said, isn’t it?”

The villain nodded. “I know that you are probably right about him not really wanting to get along, but he has always been nice to me. And I’ve never really gotten along with anyone before.”

"....Well, I think that we get along." Glanni told Robbie after some consideration. Maybe Robbie would forget about Sportacus if he said that he wanted to befriend Robbie too. Besides, intended to continue using Robbie. 

Robbie was skilled at making machines that could assist Glanni's robberies. He was quite good at sneaking around and keeping quiet too. On top of that, the man didn't seem to care about the money. He would not try to fight for a bigger cut like the other criminals, which he met in Mayhemtown. 

 "We could be partners in crime." Glanni went on, "Of course, you would have to do some catching up in order for us to be true partners, but you can learn. We can do all sorts of bad things together." 

Robbie seemed to cheer up a little bit after hearing this. "That sounds like a good idea." he said. This would be his first friend. It was a relief that first friend would not expect for him to be good too. For some reason, a part of him still felt a little empty though. He had the urge to look over at Sportacus again but he smiled at Glanni instead. Glanni smirked back. "This is going to be a lot of fun. Are you ready for your next lesson?" 

-

Robbie and Glanni went out again, leaving the unconscious heroes tied up. They sold some of the mayor’s stuff and robbed another house together. It was Pixel’s house this time since they figured that his computers were worth a decent amount of money. Robbie was nervous and he didn’t feel entirely comfortable doing these things, but he did not want to disappoint Glanni.

After that, they sold what they stole again and went shopping as a celebration. Robbie got to forget his troubles for a while. It was fun shopping with Glanni if he didn’t think about earlier. They both bought clothes, accessories and candy. Robbie bought some cake and Glanni bought some alcohol too. 

By the time that they were back, both heroes were conscious. 

As soon as Íþróttaálfurinn saw his captors, he struggled and made angry muffled sounds as he tried to yell through the cloth covering his mouth. 

Glanni only laughed because he knew that the hero was still too weak to do anything. Sportacus sat quietly though, and that made Robbie feel even more guilty. The heroes needed sportscandy to regain their strength and break the ropes, but they were not going to get any healthy foods here.

“Hey Robbie,” the other criminal sneered, “Watch this.” 

Glanni moved forward, and Íþróttaálfurinn cringed as he was hit in the stomach. It hurt a lot in his current state. He glared up at Glanni like he wanted to choke him. “Oh, did that hurt?” Glanni cooed and squatted beside him. He took off the elf's hat and grabbed his hair roughly. “Too bad you can’t do anything about it….” Hurting this hero was so much more satisfying than hurting Sportacus. It made Glanni feel powerful, and the way that the yellow elf glared at him gave him the chills. Eventually, he would do the same things that Íþróttaálfurinn did to him.

Glanni took a moment to remove his eyes from Íþróttaálfurinn. He smiled at a very shocked Robbie who was staring at him. “You see? They can’t fight back right now. We can do whatever we want with them and they can’t stop us. You can show Sportacus how threatening you can be again. Hit him for all of the times that he kept you up from sleeping during the day. Kick him for all of the children that he encouraged to be loud.”

Robbie bit the inside of his cheek and he looked at Sportacus. The blue hero stared back at him for a second and then looked down. Robbie frowned. His chest felt tight. He didn’t want to hurt Sportacus. 

“….I can’t do it. I can’t hurt him.” 

Sportacus slowly looked back up at Robbie, surprised. 

Glanni let go of Íþróttaálfurinn’s hair. Really? This shit again? He thought that he had solved this issue by claiming to be Robbie’s friend. He scoffed in disbelief. “He’s your enemy and you can’t even hurt him?” 

“I know. I’m sorry.” Robbie said weakly, “I don’t know why. I don’t think that I am very good at being a criminal.”

“Clearly,” Glanni snarled. “You know, I decided to team up with you because I like you. I can’t have a partner who can’t even hit their enemy though.”

“I’m sorry.” Robbie repeated. “I know I’m being a nuisance.” 

“No. I’m sorry.” Glanni snapped. “I’m going to have to tie you up now. You are a nuisance and you can’t be trusted.”

Robbie was hurt by Glanni’s harsh words. He was then knocked backwards against the wall. He stared at Glanni in shock. Sportacus’ crystal began to make its sound.

-

Robbie was in trouble.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's about time that Robbie did something right.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long and sorry if it's a bit short.  
> I had a lot of homework and then I went through a little bit of writer's block. Tell me if I did anything wrong. I'm so tired. Hopefully I get less work soon. Hopefully I won't post this late next time.  
> Thank you guys again for the supportive comments.  
> I may still edit this a bit (not changing the story. Only the language) so please feel free to give suggestions  
> 

            The heroes were powerless as poor Robbie was hurt by his alternate.

            "Stop!" They heard the villain plead, "I want to be on your side! I can be worse! I just need some time!"

            Since Glanni had claimed to be his friend, Robbie didn't want to fight him. But he was not doing a very good job defending himself either. His arms hurt when he managed to block Glanni's punches. Other times he was hit right in the stomach and chest. He stumbled on random objects in his lair as he tried to get away. Glanni chased after. He had no intention on stopping.

-

            Íþróttaálfurinn was impressed and slightly annoyed by Sportacus' determination to save his villain. The blue hero was done fighting the ropes. Instead, he scooted on the floor, still tied up. He was moving towards the mechanical dog that Robbie had once used in a plan to kick him out of town. The robot itself was powered off, but it's razor sharp teeth would be perfect to cut the ropes with.

            Since Sportacus was tied up so well, he was out of breath by the time that he had gotten to the robotic canine. Robbie was in big trouble though, and he came first. Sportacus could hear the villain's screams as Glanni twisted his arm back. He tried to focus his vision and not pass out as he cut the ropes. Once the rope was weak enough, he snapped it with his arms and stumbled over to Robbie's aid.

            Sportacus pulled Glanni off of Robbie, punching the crook until his grip on the villain loosened. Robbie was stunned. He had never seen Sportacus do something so violent before.

            "Shit!" Glanni hissed and jumped back."How did you get free, elf? And what the Hell happened to your peaceful good guy shtick?"

            "One of Robbie's gadgets helped me cut the ropes." Sportacus answered, his eyes serious. "I had to do that because you hurt Robbie. You can't hurt the people that I care about. Now I'm serious. So why don't you do the smart thing and cooperate? Just let me tie you up. I don't like to have to be violent."

            "So that's what gets you to snap, eh? Too bad though. I never cooperate." Glanni stepped away from Sportacus. He never went out without a fight, no matter how screwed he was. "You're going to have to catch me, Sportadouche."

            Glanni began to run. Sportacus tried to chase after, but he lost balance and fell to the ground.

            "Sportaflop?!" Robbie gasped. He hadn't noticed but Sportacus had been barely able to stand up this whole time. He must have had to push himself to get up and pull Glanni away from Robbie.

            "Well, what do you know?" Glanni chuckled. He couldn't help but sound a bit surprised himself. "The sugar must've stronger than we thought. I suppose this means that you won't be chasing me anywhere, Hm?"

            Glanni pressed his heel into Sportacus' chest. The hero winced and grabbed onto Glanni's leg tightly. He then tugged him down onto the floor with him. "I-I can still fight you... You aren't going to get away with all of this."

            "Gah! Let go of me, you oaf!" Glanni growled, "...Robbie! If you want to prove to me that you are on my side, then you can help me tie him up!"

            "No Robbie, don't do it!" Sportacus said. "He is only trying to trick you! He is the one who needs to be tied up! I'm sorry but I am going to need your help this time!"

            Robbie stared at both men. At this point, he knew that Glanni wasn't trustworthy. Even though he still wanted to be his friend, he was afraid of what Glanni might do to the heroes after this too. But he couldn't listen to Sportacus either, could he?

            He could never be Sportacus' friend. He could never be on his side. He was not a good guy. All he could do was disappoint Sportacus. But if he wasn't his enemy then he was nothing at all. The villain bit his lip and turned around.

            Glanni yelled at his alternate, "Hey, wait! Where do you think you're going? Are you fucking serious!?"

            "Robbie!" Sportacus cried.

            But Robbie didn't look back. He ran out of his lair.

            This was all just too much for him.

-

            Time had passed and it was becoming more and more evident to everyone that Robbie probably wasn't coming back. Sportacus was losing strength and motivation by the second. He didn't understand why Robbie was so against the idea of being his friend. He knew that Robbie was lonely, and he knew that Robbie had a nice side. But he didn't get why he was so stubborn.

            Sportacus was very frustrated and sad. Even as Glanni had him pinned against the ground, the hero was thinking about Robbie. His vision blurred again. He was just about to give up and pass out when he thought he saw something move in the corner of his eye. It was a blur made of purple, black, and maroon. Whatever it really was, it had jumped into the lair like Sportacus, but failed in its landing.

            “Robbie…?” Sportacus blinked as he realized who it was.

            “What?!” Glanni looked up and sure enough, there was Robbie Rotten. He was standing in the middle of his lair, holding an apple in his hand. His other hand was on his back like he must have hurt it during his landing. “….Sorry to keep you waiting, Sportaflop.” the villain wheezed and then tossed his hero the apple.

            Sportacus smiled at Robbie in response as he just barely managed to catch it in his fingers. "That's okay, Robbie. The important thing is that you're here now." 

            The hero already felt a bit better just from seeing Robbie return. And when he took a bite of the sportscandy, he felt his body recover all the rest of his energy.

           Glanni just swallowed and tried to move away slowly.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> if anybody is still reading, I'm sorry for the lateness again. I'm actually pretty depressed right now. My friend is very ill.  
> Anyway, I'm going to finish this for my own sake even if nobody's reading. I'm pretty sure I lost a majority of my readers by now, It will probably just be slower if it is just for myself.  
> 

            Glanni did not even make it out of the lair when he tried to run. Sportacus pushed him to the floor. The criminal struggled against him and yelled threats but it was useless. He was tied up again. He had lost again. "Good riddance." Robbie said. He looked away from Glanni. Sportacus turned to look at him. He seemed a bit sad.

            "Thank you for saving me, Robbie... Are you okay?"

            "Of course I'm okay." Robbie said defensively, "Why wouldn't I be? And don’t you dare take this the wrong way, Sportaflop. I did what I had to because of the situation. I'm still your enemy. Just because I helped you once doesn’t mean I'm on your side."

            Sportacus sighed, "I figured that you may say that. But thank you anyway. You really saved me this time."

            Robbie continued to look away. "Don't rub it in my face, Sportaflop."

            "I'm not-"

            There was a muffled noise coming from the corner of the room. Spotacus turned to see Íþróttaálfurinn, still tied up. He looked back towards Robbie and said, "I would really like to talk to you in private, Robbie... Right after I untie Íþró." He went over to the other elf to untie him.

            Once free, Íþróttaálfurinn immediately went over to Glanni and grabbed him by the collar. "You little shit! I'm going to kill you!" Glanni shrieked and  Sportacus pulled Íþróttaálfurinn back. "Hey! Calm down. You aren't actually going to hurt him are you? I'm not going to let you do that."

            "It's none of your business!" Íþróttaálfurinn hissed at the other elf. "It's my job to take care of him!"

            "I will not tolerate that sort of unnecessary violence in Lazytown." Sportacus said. "What if the children hear? Besides, he isn't hurting anybody right now."

            "Fine... I'll see if I can wait until we get back to our world. But keep in mind that yours isn't completely innocent either! You should teach him a lesson!" Íþróttaálfurinn growled and left, dragging Glanni along with him. He was in a very bad mood from going through his first sugar meltdown in a long time. At least he had the decency to give Sportacus and Robbie some privacy though.

            Sportacus sighed turned to his villain. Robbie was trying to sneak away. The hero put a hand on his shoulder. "Hey, I'm not going to hurt you. You know that, right?" he spoke gently as he moved to turn Robbie back around. "Now sit down and let's talk."

            "I don't want to do that." Robbie looked irritated but he sat down in his orange chair anyway. Sportacus sighed. "Why can't we just get along?"

            Robbi raised an eyebrow. "Is that a trick question? I'm your villain. You and the children are so noisy every day. Why would I want any part of that?"

            "You wanted a friend, and after all of this, I know that you must care about me."

           The taller man snorted. "What are you talking about? I don't care about you at all. I don't care about anybody but me!" Sportacus shook his head in response. "I don’t believe that. You saved me twice."

            "But I was the cause of you being in trouble both times!"

            "It doesn't matter. You cared enough to not want anything bad to happen to me. You also cared when you heard me say that I didn't consider you a threat. If you really just want to get rid of me, what I think shouldn't matter."

            Robbie fell silent so the hero tried again. “You know, the noises wouldn’t be so bothersome if you were part of them. I’m not asking you to come outside but I would like to come visit you sometime. Would that be okay?"

            Robbie looked up. Sportacus thought that he might be considering it but then he shook his head. "No. Don't bother. I am bad. Even if I tried to be good, I would disappoint you. I've never gotten along with anyone before and I don't know how to."

            “All I’m asking is if we can hang out once in a while. I won’t be disappointed in you. I promise. Can’t we just give it a chance?”

            "I can't-" Robbie rubbed his temples. "Listen Sportaloon, if you bring this up I'll deny it, but I honestly thought that I might be able to be friends with Glanni. And I can't believe that I actually disappointed him too. I guess that I can't even make bad guy friends. In addition to everything else I suck at, I now know that I am also bad at being a bad guy. If I can’t even do that, how do you expect me to befriend a hero?"

            "Hey, I understand that you are afraid of getting hurt because it’s never worked out for you,” Sportacus said gently, “but you are shutting yourself away from everyone else by labeling yourself as unworthy. In a way, that's just as unhealthy as the amount of cake that I see you eat."

            Sportacus was very concerned for Robbie, but the villain was becoming irritated now, “It’s none of your business! Why does my life matter so much to you anyway? Is it your heroic duty? If that’s the case, you need to stop because it’s getting really obnoxious!" He wouldn’t let Sportacus touch him and he wiped his wet eyes before his tears could be seen for too long.

            "No, Robbie. That's not it." Sportacus sighed. “It’s more selfish than that.” It hurt to see Robbie upset like this. Robbie was even more insecure than he had imagined. “I’m sorry if I was too pushy. I didn’t mean to upset you. I just…I really like you a lot. I think that you are sweet, clever, fun and cute. I wanted to see you smile. I wanted get to know you better. It seems like I only made things worse though. I’m sorry.”

            Sportacus was going to leave the lair to allow his villain some alone time, but before he could, one of his wrists was grabbed. He turned around and saw that Robbie had stood up.

            “No.” Robbie said. He wrapped his arms around the blue elf and buried his face in his shoulder. “Please don’t go. Tell me what you meant.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Awkwardness, fluff, and a non-descriptive sex scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was finally able to post this. I actually had it for a few days but no wifi where I was :(  
> I think the next chapter should come out sooner than this one though. I have started working on it already.
> 
> ***THIS FIC ISN'T OVER, GUYS. IT IS ALMOST DONE BUT NOT QUITE.***
> 
> Sorry if I made it sound like an ending, but yeah, we still need to get the alternates home ^^;;

               Sportacus stopped and turned around to face the taller man. Great, now things would be even more awkward between them the next time they met. He was upset so he must have not be thinking straight. His confession just sort of came out. 

               "Sportaflop?" 

               "Sorry. I shouldn't have said that, should've I?" Sportacus rubbed his head, "I was never expecting you to like me back, and I wasn't planning to try to turn it into anything. I don't even know if you are into men- or elves for that matter.

               Robbie was still in disbelief. "You like me though? As in...?"

               "Romantically." Sportacus nodded, "Yes, I am in love with you... But I know that you don't feel the same way about me. And that's okay. Like I said I never expected-"

               "I never said that I don't have feelings for you, Sportadork." Robbie interrupted, blushing and crossing his arms. 

               Sportacus blinked. "Then...do you?"

               Robbie bit his lip. He had considered his feelings before and he did his best to deny them. He knew the truth deep down though, and if the hero did feel the same way about him, he wanted him to know that the feeling was mutual. 

               "I do." Robbie managed to admit. Sportacus made him feel a way that nobody else did. He was friendly, sweet, attractive and talented at every sport that he played. The villain could never get him out of his head.

               The blue elf was now smiling widely at him like an idiot. It made Robbie's chest feel funny so he quickly turned away, only to be tugged right into Sportacus' arms. 

               "I'm so happy, Robbie. Does this mean that you'll give it a shot after all? Will you hang out with me? Can we go on a date?"

               "Well, I guess... but are you sure you really want to?"

               "You still don't believe me? Robbie, why would I lie about having feelings for you?"

               "I don't know." Robbie said. He supposed that it did seem a bit elaborate of the hero if he was really tricking him to make him a good guy. "It's just hard to believe that you would like me of all people."

               "I do like you though."

               "Well, can you prove it then? Would you maybe... kiss me or something?" Robbie asked sheepishly.

               Sportacus didn't have to be asked twice. He pulled Robbie into a loving, passionate kiss and the villain soon returned it.

               They kept kissing for a while. It felt like a long time but also not long enough.

               "Sorry." Sportacus said. "That was unnecessary. Do you believe me now though?"

               "Yeah." Robbie blushed."You know, we don't have to stop if you don't want to..." He lightly rubbed up against the bulge in Sportacus' pants.

               "Oh-" Sportacus breathed in. "I'm sorry we don't have to-"

               "Stop apologizing. I want you, Sportaflop." 

               "...You don't have condoms or lube, do you?" Sportacus asked the villain, blushing deeply. Robbie shook his head. "I haven't done this before. I can get them on extra speedy delivery though."

               Robbie grabbed the phone and began to dial the number. He was a bit nervous about ordering this sort of thing since he never had the experience. He thought that he would die of embarrassment when they asked the size and then he had to ask Sportacus. It was worth it though. They arrived right after he hung up the phone. 

               "Wow." said Sportacus. "That is super speedy." 

               "Yeah." Robbie chuckled. "That's what I always say."

               Robbie took Sportacus' hand and led him to his bedroom. He had hardly ever been inside of it himself. In the center of the room was a single bed. It was orange and fluffy like his chair, but much too big for one person. The massive thing made Robbie feel lonely when he slept in it, and sometimes even slightly agoraphobic. If would be perfect for this though. 

               Sportacus gently pushed Robbie down onto the bed. He kissed him some more and then began to remove his clothing. 

               The villain wasn't usually worried about the way he looked. He considered himself to be quite fashionable and he usually made an effort to look good, although it was for nobody but himself. Still, he felt nervous and self-conscious if Sportacus would like what he saw. Not even his mother had seen him naked and the hero's muscular body made him worry if he was good enough for him again. 

               Sportacus soon made everything better though. He drowned Robbie in compliments, kissing all over his newly exposed skin and running his hands down his slender body. After a while, Robbie had wrapped his long legs around Sportacus, practically purring. 

               Sportacus removed his own vest and shirt. "So, you said that this was your first time, Robbie?"

               "Yeah..." the villain said, forcing himself to stop laughing. The kisses tickled. ”...Is that going to be a problem?" He hoped not. As embarrassed as he was, he was already having a good time.

               The hero shook his head. "No, it's fine. As long as you want this to happen, that is. I will just have to be extra careful. Everything will be fine." 

               Sportacus removed his hat, revealing his soft hair and pointy ears. "You know, I try not to be, but elves can be pretty possessive of their lovers. I have to admit that am actually kind of happy that I get to be your first. It feels like you are all mine." 

               "I am." Robbie reached to touch the elf's brownish blonde hair. "And you should really take that stupid hat off more often, Sport. You look good like this."

               "You think so? Maybe I will do so more often, just for you." 

               They smiled at each other and kissed again.

               Then Sportacus removed the rest of their clothing and began to stretch Robbie out. He was careful, just like he said he would be. It was uncomfortable at first, of course. It never really hurt too much though. 

               Sportacus would tell him over and over that they could stop whenever he wanted to. He told him to say it hurt. Robbie assured him that he was fine each time. He smiled at how worried the elf was. It was sweet.

               After a while, Sportacus picked up the pace a little. Robbie took a hold of the hero’s hair as he tried to readjust to the pace, letting out a small moan every time that he thrust into him.

               “Robbie…” Sportacus grunted. He was getting closer. He gave the villain a few strokes with his hand to make sure that the villain got to cum first.

               “Ah! Sportacus!” Robbie cried out at the sudden contact. His hips bucked into the hand until he came onto his own stomach. “Sportacus!”

               Sportacus came right after, crying out the villain’s name a final time. He pulled out and cleaned them both up, throwing the used condom into a nearby trash bin. Robbie gave him an annoyed look. “Don’t throw condoms round my room. What if you miss and it stains my floor.”

               “I don’t miss, I promise.” The hero chuckled and wrapped his arms around the villain. "Hey, you called me Sportacus earlier."

               "Yeah..." Robbie blushed and laid his head on the hero’s chest. "I guess I did.... Don't get used to it though, Sportaloon. That was special... and also an accident." 

               Sportacus smiled. "Okay. You can call me whatever you like, Robbie. Although I'd prefer you not call me what Glanni calls me." 

               They both laughed at that.

               Robbie felt warm inside. He had never felt so loved before in his life. He felt tears come to his eyes. "Alright, deal." he said and tried to wipe them away before Sportacus saw. It was too late though. 

               "Robbie?" Sportacus blinked. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you? Why didn't you tell me?"

               "No, no." Robbie said. "I'm not hurt."

               "Then... why are you crying? Do you regret-"

               "No." the taller man blushed and covered the elf's mouth. "Stop asking dumb questions and acing so concerned... I'm crying because I'm happy."

               Sportacus blinked. He took Robbie's hand off his mouth and then smiled. "Oh Robbie..." 

               The hero wrapped his arms around the villain lovingly. Robbie blushed and squirmed a bit.  "Hey... Hey! Stop that! You're squishing me, Sportakook!" 

               “Sorry.”  Sportacus nuzzled his nose against Robbie’s. “I just love you so much.”


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yes, this is the final chapter, but I will review (and might rewrite some parts for) this later. Still, feel free to correct any mistakes I made.  
> Thank you if you read this all the way to the end. I'm really glad that some people seemed to like it.  
> Hopefully you like the ending too.  
> Oh jeez now I'm really paranoid again TT.TT)

               Sportacus and Robbie had fallen asleep together in bed.

               It was not until the next day that they saw their alternates again. "Hey guys!" Sportacus exclaimed excitedly as soon as he and Robbie found them near the park. Glanni was put back into the same blue cage as before and Íþróttaálfurinn was watching him.

               They both looked up and Sportacus stopped in front of them, bouncing with excitement, "Guess what? Me and Robbie are together now!"

               Robbie walked up from behind and jabbed Sportacus with his elbow. "Don't tell them that! Are you crazy?!" he hissed

               "Sorry." Sportacus said, rubbing his arm. "I figured we could tell our alternates."

               If he could, Sportacus would tell the whole world, but Robbie just wasn't ready yet. Sportacus had promised Robbie not to tell the residents of Lazytown yet. What would they think about this new development?

               They would probably tell Sportacus that he was too good for Robbie. They would probably tell him that Robbie was a bad guy and that he shouldn't be trusted. Robbie was very worried, even though Sportacus insisted that it would be fine. Maybe Robbie was right about not telling the alternates though. They were now both staring at him, looking disgusted at the thought of themselves being together like this in any universe.

               "Unbelievable..." Glanni said. "You are the most pathetic criminal, villain, whatever. Who every heard of a bad guy dating their hero?"

               Sportacus saw Robbie frown. "Well, I think that he's number one." Sportacus told Glanni, wrapping an arm around his new boyfriend and giving him a gentle squeeze. Robbie blushed and smiled a bit. Glanni pretended to gag.

               "Anyway, I have some other good news too. It's the reason that we came looking for you." Sportacus said, holding what looked like a robotic ball, "We can get you home now. As it turns out, Robbie already pretty much had the machine finished. I had him finish up the last bit yesterday."

               Íþróttaálfurinn nodded. "Good. The sooner we get back, the sooner I can put Glæpur back behind bars."

               "I fucking hate you." Glanni hissed.

               "I don't care." Íþróttaálfurinn said, gritting his teeth. "I don't need the approval of criminal scum."

               Sportacus looked back and fourth at the two alternates. It was sad to see another version of him and Robbie act so hostile towards each other. He wanted them to get along and be happy. "You guys don't really hate each other, do you?"

               "What?" Glanni raised a brow. "Of course we do."

               Íþróttaálfurinn said nothing.

               "Well Glanni, if you hate Íþróttaálfurinn, why did you kiss me and pretend that it was him?"

               "You think that people have to like each other in order for them to kiss?" Glanni snorted but Sportacus thought that he saw a faint redness to his face. "I finally felt like I had the upper hand against Íþróttaálfurinn! But you, Sportashit, wanted to be all gentle and loving about it! You were not Íþróttaálfurinn and it wasn't fun at all!"

               "....Wait a second, you kissed him?!" Íþróttaálfurinn interrupted. He and Robbie both glared angrily at the criminal. Íþróttaálfurinn grabbed Glanni from between the bars of his cage, and Robbie held onto one of Sportacus' arms possessively.

               "Yeah, I kissed him!" Glanni growled, "And I understand why Robbie is upset, but why the Hell do you give a shit, you jerk? ....Let go of me!"

               He managed to push Íþróttaálfurinn's hand away and move to the other side of the cage. "What are you jealous or something? We aren't going out, you asshole! You don't own me!"

               "I am not jealous! I was just... How dare you try and overpower any version of me?!"

               "Oh, so it's okay when you do it to me?"

               Sportacus sighed as the two argued, going back and forth. He activated the machine that Robbie made, and a portal back to Íþróttaálfurinn's world was created.

               The alternates shut up and looked up at the strange white opening now floating in front of them in the middle of the path.

               "Alright Glæpur," Íþróttaálfurinn's spoke, "I've had enough of your shit. We are going back to our world now." He unlocked the cage but Glanni backed furthur inside and shook his head. He grabbed onto the bars."I'm not going with you. You are going to hurt me and then turn me into the police."

               "I don't have to hurt you if you listen, although I am going to turn you into the police no matter what. Make this easier on yourself and come with me cooperatively."

               Íþróttaálfurinn squatted down and reached in the cage. He offered Glanni a hand to help him out. Maybe he had been too harsh to the criminal up to this point. Glanni was a thief and a liar, but not the most vicious criminal that he had dealt with in the past.

               He didn't usually do anything violent to innocent people, but Íþróttaálfurinn laid his hands on him. Glanni just caused him so much frustration. Not only was Glanni slippery. Íþróttaálfurinn was also attracted to him, even though he knew that he was a bad man and that he would probably never change. It made him angry the way that Glanni teased him and made him consider not arresting him just to see him again.

               Still, it actually made him a bit sad to see that the criminal thought so ill of him that he thought he would hurt him no matter what he did. He didn't consider that Glanni wanted revenge, because last time that they kissed he swore that he remembered him returning his kisses as he clawed his fingernails against his back.

              Glanni had looked at Íþróttaálfurinnms hand for a few seconds. He looked like he might grab it, but then be kicked his longtime enemy in the face instead, knocking him back.

               The criminal laughed and ran past everyone, heading straight towards the portal. "You think I'd buy that, Íþró? You know me better than that!!Bye bye, Sportafuck! So long, Softie!" Glanni shouted before disappearing inside it.

               Íþróttaálfurinn pushed himself off the ground and rubbed at his cheek. He saw Sportacus looking at him. There was sympathy in the other hero's eyes. Íþróttaálfurinn quickly turned away from his alternate, making a clicking noise with his mouth. "I'm have to go catch him now so..."

               "Alright." Sportacus said gently, "Bye."

               "Yeah, bye..." Íþróttaálfurinn muttered. He breathed in and darted into the portal after the criminal, not looking back.

               Sportacus and Robbie stood there for a while until Robbie finally closed the portal by pressing a button on his device. Sportacus crossed his arms, still staring at the spot where they had disappeared. "Are you alright, Sportaflop?" Robbie asked him."Huh? Oh, yeah. Of course." The hero offered Robbie a small smile. "I have never been so happy before... But it's just a shame that our alternates still have to fight like this when we are now dating. They could be happy too."

               "They aren't exactly like us." Robbie told him.

               Sportacus nodded in agreement. "That's true. Plus, their situation is different. Glanni causes too much trouble and I think that Íþróttaálfurinn doesn't think that he should like someone like that."

               "Íþróttaálfurinn has issues too." Robbie said.

               "That's very true. He doesn't know what to do with his feelings. He is too violent and harsh. Maybe it will work out for them somehow though. Maybe they will fix things in the future."

               "Maybe." Robbie nodded. He hoped for them, and so did Sportacus.

               Robbie scratched the back of his neck. "....You know, I'm not so worried about being a threatening to you anymore. I don't need to be a real criminal."

               Sportacus chuckled at that. "I'm glad to hear." He put an arm around Robbie's waist and pulled him into a kiss.

              Robbie kissed back some and then pushed him away to warn him, "I will trap you if you become too annoying and loud with the kids though." 

              Sportacus smiled. "And what will you do if you catch me? Still going to try to kick me out of town?" 

              Robbie looked confused for a second but then he grinned. "I don't know yet... I guess we are just going to have to find out."


End file.
